Married and Dating-Trips Down the Aisle

This week’s episode of Married and Dating features an unexpected trip down the aisle, new dining adventures and a double feature.  Read on for the juicy details! 

Here we are folks, the big holiday weekend. Hope you’ve all been having fun. My ever loyal hubby has been really sick. Yes, he caught it from me, but not without a full disclosure of my illness in advance. I will not take the blame for his current state, even if I have been making a lot of comfort foods this week to cheer him up. He is pretty happy about being off work, so the cookies I made were just icing on the cake so to speak.

Because of the extra time off, we had planned a date day. What is a date day? Why it’s a date that starts early in the day and ends in the evening. Nana had offered to watch the offspring for the day. Yipee!!!

Granted I thought my sweetie would cancel, but he stubbornly manned up and took me out. For those following our adventures, remember that I was sick last time and he promised me we could do whatever I wanted this time. (Flashback to the November Beer Edition for details of this promise.) It was my pick and I wanted to see a movie.

We got an early start on Friday. I always make a little extra effort on our dates to put aside my normal mom gear (sweats and sneakers) and actually try to resemble a woman, a sexy woman, a woman you’d actually like to be seen out with in public, a woman that isn’t picking baby food off her shirt or wearing the same wrinkled outfit from two days ago. Yes, folks I fixed my hair, wore my contacts and did my makeup. I also wore a new outfit, Levi’s that actually look good on me and weren’t ripped, a white v-neck sweater, my favorite silver hoop earrings given to me by Sarah F., and my favorite new shoes, red platform sandals, made from the softest, buttery leather available. I’m short, so heels are a must for me when we are going out. My favorite male even gave me a compliment, so the date was starting out just fine.

We dropped the kids off and made it to our first movie, an action packed epic end of the world piece. We found out that Ultra Star Cinemas in our area does a half priced movie for the first showing of the day and all day on Tuesdays. That is a good deal folks! While I bought the tickets, hubby ran across to the store and bought some M&M’s, because really what’s a movie without snacks, but who can afford $3 M&M’s now-a-days? Then we went in and picked a seat in an old fashioned non-stadium theater.

At first I was worried, during the pre-show the sound was off and I thought it was not going be very good, since the theater is obviously older, but the second the actual pre-views started the Digital kicked in and it was perfect. We munched on our candy and settled in for a great action adventure film, after a few bites though, the whole side of my head starts aching. Now with this virus, I’ve been experiencing weird sinus pain and even tooth/jaw pain. So, I dig in my purse for an Aleve and stand up to go get some water hoping the shooting pains in my head will subside. I take two steps down the aisle and trip and fall, landing on my hands and knees. I’m freaking out, trying to collect my self esteem and scrape my body up off the floor. I try to stand and twist my ankle, then take another step and almost fall again. A collective gasp is heard from the mainly older crowd watching the movie with us. I think many of them were blaming my foot wear choice, or wondering if I'd been drinking, while others were remembering that time their Aunt Betty fell and was never the same again. Whatever the case, I’d made enough of a scene and managed to make my way up the incredibly long aisle to the back without another fall.

As I stumbled out of the theater and into the light, I wondered why I’d fallen. Now my knee was hurt too, I really needed that Aleve. So I shake it off, get the water, take my medication and head back to the theater. As I’m standing in the back, I realized the aisle lights on our side of the theater were not on. That’s why I fell, I had no depth perception and I couldn’t see how steep the incline was. If I had been really hurt, I would have made a big deal to the management, but by the end of the movie, my knee was fine. I did however, point out the broken lights and warn the manager who promptly called it in for repair.

My husband said it was like a scene out of some silly comedy, where the hot chick is walking down the sidewalk, the wind blowing the hair from her face, licking her perfect pouting lips and then she trips. Boom! I have lived that moment. Let me tell you, it was not as funny happening in real life as it is watching it on a screen.

After that, the rest of the date was anti-climatic. We had a great late lunch/early dinner at Bare Back, a New Zealand Burger place on ‘E’ downtown. Friday is all day happy hour and they do these $2 wheel spins. We tried it twice hoping for beer, (cause you guys know my Dave and his beer) we ended up getting shots instead. Oh well, it was happy hour. So I got a share a shot, take a shot of Vodka and Dave got a surfer on acid, not our normal drink choices, but hey for $2 whose complaining.

Then, we headed two blocks over to Horton Plaza to take in a teenaged romance movie. Found perfect parking and got perfect seats, that is until the whole high school soccer team showed up and sat in front of us. Talk about rude teenage girls, several had already seen the film and were quoting it verbatim, others were texting, the glow from their phones causing much distraction to their neighbors and still others were loudly talking during the whole show. All I could think is maybe we should have rented this one instead and saved our money.

This episode of married and dating will go down in infamy as the time I tried to look my best, but ended up looking like a fool. Oh well, that’s just how I roll.

Another Installment of Married and Dating

This weeks installment of married and dating includes interpetive dance, silly questions, impersonations of impersonators and finishes with a wonderful performance by the hubbies...but I'll save that for later.

The week after our Vegas trip, my manly man helped some friends move, cause that's how we roll.  We try to help our friends when they need us.  So to thank us for our assistance, we were invited to a grown up dinner party.  No kids, just nine adults, eating, drinking, laughing and having a great time. 

First came the proverbial chit-chat.  "How was your trip to Napa?"  "Our friends keep asking us to move to Alaska."  "The neighbors are driving me crazy."  "Are you settled in yet?" "Would you like to see my photos?"  And the ever popular "Mac vs. PC" conversations.  Not one comment was made about Legos, Star Wars, or Dora.  It was refreshing for the four full-time parents in the group.

Then the appetizer's were served.  Yummo (to quote Rachel Ray)!  Incredibly large green olives, stuffed with garlic and wrapped in bacon, broiled until crispy on the outside were served on little skewers along with cheese spread and crackers.  Delicious. 

This was followed by a wonderful chicken basil penne, salad and breadsticks.  During which our host pulled out his impersonation of Billy Crystal doing an impersonation of Sammy Davis, Jr.  It was hysterical and actually quite good coming from a tall, white, non-Jewish guy.

Once we stopped rolling on the floor with laughter, our hosts cleared the dishes and we proceeded to play a fierce game of Apples to Apples, in which we all argue about why our card should be picked over another players.  It was loud, really loud, earsplitting loud and totally rowdy.  The winning card was for the word "Fantastic" one of the options was "rainbows" which are pretty and very nice, but since I was the judge that round I had no choice but to pick "Underwear."  Oh I know many of you may be confused as to my pick, but ladies face it, life without Spanx and Wonder Bras would never be the same.  In my opinion, the advances in underwear is fantastic.  We look better, feel better, walk taller and prouder, feel our sexiest in brand new underwear.  Nothing makes a woman feel more womanly than the slide of lace, satin or pretty printed cotton, in a rainbow of colors, in all varieties....underwear is fantastic.

Dessert was served and who doesn't love a parfait?  A huge hit with the whole group, I've personally never seen nine cleaner dessert dishes in my life.  If my tongue was longer I would have licked my glass clean, but alas I possess a short and stunted tongue.

Then we tried another game.  To be honest, I don't even know it's name, we were totally breaking all the rules by playing in teams, men vs. women, instead of individually.  We had to guess the other teams answer to the choices and then there were these challenge squares, which proved to be very interesting.  There was the normal bickering among spouses, the psychological manuvering of people who've been married forever and can practically read each others thoughts, and the girls were kicking the guys butts.  That is until we landed on our first challenge square. 

The guys picked a challenge, thinking we'd be squeamish and balk at it, they really don't understand women very well, do they?  Three of the ladies in the group are moms, who can do anything.  Never, ever think you can break a mom.  Men as a rule underestimate women, even though we're "Awesome." 

So what was the challenge, you ask?  We had to perform an interpetive dance of a cat chasing a mouse.  Piece of cake, we all started channeling our inner feline and pawing and meowing and basically chasing Rey around the room (she was our designated mouse.)  The men were forced to concede our superiority at interpetive dance.  Come on guys, pick something a little harder next time.

But as the saying goes, payback's a b**** well you know what I'm thinking.  It was the guys turn for a challenge and Rey and her mom picked a good one, with music and all.  The remaining three guys, had to get on their hands and knees and bounce their posteriors to the beat of the music.  After much protest and a brief wrestling match over a video camera, the guys agreed and assumed their postitions on the carpet.  As Michael Jackson blared from the stereo, the guys started bouncing their butts up and down to the beat.  It was the funniest moment of the night, at least for the ladies.  I think the ladies officially won, but the guys get an "A" for effort.  Oh to have taped it and posted it on You Tube?  Maybe next time.

Until next date night, have a good one and keep on dating the one you love!

Welch's Wine

Wine, vino, mommy's juice, Chardonnay, Muscat, or Boone's, whatever you call it, it's the nectar of the gods.  Archeological evidence shows wine is one of mankinds earliest food arts.  Additionally winemaking in Europe dates back over 6,500 years ago.  In Sedalia, Missouri, winemaking, in our family, dates back to the early 1980's.

At that time my parents had accumulated a large amount of canned Welch's Grape Juice.  Made from the finest concord grapes grown in the heart of the east coast.  "The story of Welch's began in 1869 in Vineland, New Jersey – when physician and dentist Thomas Bramwell Welch and his son Charles processed the first bottles of "unfermented wine" to use during their church's communion service."  (Information courtesy of the Welch's Grape Juice Website. http://www.welchs.com/) Well, my dad got fed up with the "unfermented" juice and decided brilliantly to make Welch's Wine.

To this day, I'm not sure why my mom agreed to this project.  You see the hardest part of winemaking is growing the grapes, and Welch's had done that part for him already.  In my Dad's enthusiasm, he convinced my mom that he'd be able to make the finest wine from the cans we had stored in the basement.  I'm sure he promised her it would be as good as Boone's Farm, her favorite wine for company dinner.

So after reading several how-to books on the winemaking subject, my dad set up his homemade still.  It was a couple of wine bottles with plastic tubing running from them.  I think the tubes were to help with pressure released during fermentation.  He set it up on a shelf in our sunny yellow dining room, out of the reach of the four sets of little hands in our family.  He proudly showed his winemaking display off to our friends who stopped by.  They would sit around talking about how good the wine was going to be.  I think he even mentioned entering it in the fair if it turned out ok.

Then as with so many early attempts at winemaking, tragedy struck.  It was late one night, a couple of weeks into the project.  Our family was sound asleep, tucked into our beds and dreaming happy dreams.  Suddenly, we were jolted from our sleep by the sounds of exploding glass.  Had someone shot out a window?  Was there a car accident on the street outside of our house?  Sadly, no.  My dad's dreams of becoming the first Welch's Wine maker ended in a shower of glass and a spray of fermenting grape juice all over the yellow walls and white ceiling of our dining room.  It looked like a grape massacre had taken place in our dining room and it smelled pretty nasty too.

My dad learned a valuable lesson: there is a reason wine producers ferment wine in wooden barrels or steel drums.  That way there is no chance of an explosion during the fermentation process.  My mom quickly vetoed any additonal attempts at winemaking in our house.

My dad was deeply disappointed, but for my mom it was a blessing.  She'd been nagging my dad to paint the kitchen and dining room for months.  After the fatal wine explosion, my dad picked up some new paint and re-painted them on his next day off.  Maybe my mom really did know what she was doing when she agreed to let my dad make Welch's wine in the kitchen.